Wednesday, October 22, 2008

where am i headed?

i love the picture that i posted as the header for this blog o' mine. i took it a couple years back in herrnhut germany, on top of the prayer tower in the cemetery. i am not one who likes to go perusing through cemeteries like my mother & sister do. however, this one was different. matter of fact, the whole town was different. i have never felt that type of peace over a city before. it could and prolly in fact does stem from the believers in the area setting up a watch of continuous prayer which ran uninterrupted, 24 hours a day, for over 100 years back in the 18th century.

however, that's not really what i wanted to write about this picture. what some may see, its just the quintessential german town, with the rolling hills in the back ground. what i see are nations. literally. in the fore ground in german soil. the highest hill on the right of the picture is poland and way off in the very back is czech lands.

why does this photo speak to me so? sure. it could be because i am a german polock and although i have a heart to go back to germany and finally enter into poland, this picture is about more than that. the three nations are three areas in my life. my comfort zone, just outside my comfort area and so far out there that i cant see it if it were any more clouded over. its that place WAY out there that i need to head for.
it doesn't matter if its raining or not, i know that what i need to aim at is out there.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

pushing forward

guess its time. time to begin what i attempted to start a while back. something about pushing forward. i think i came up with that title before my month of september even started. today i was listening to HOW HE LOVES US over and over on the way to work. the line I DONT HAVE TIME TO MAINTAIN THESE REGRETS just resonated within me. it takes to much time & effort to hold onto those things. i am in the process of understanding why i do certain tings. why i think certain ways. i am not satisfied nor am i willing to stay this way. i have allowed myself to... to... to settle for mediocrity for too long. there is more. So much more from the heart of my God for me. the good news is that it is God who is at work in me.

i saw a picture in my head of a very clouded over sky. heavy, deep grey dark clouds covered the land. just oppressive. reminded me of many mornings when i lived in seattle except it wasnt raining. a wind rose up. i could not tell where it was coming from but its evidence was seen & felt. the clouds started to disperse. gradually at first. sometimes in great measure. the wind continued until the cloud cover broke & blue sky could be seen. it was comforting just seening the little patches of blue intermingling with the grey. the wind blew harder. soon, the grey gave way to white. The mood changed from oppresive to comforting. But that was not enough either. Comined with the wind, the suns rays not just broke through the rest of the clouds but burnt them off. The brilliance of the blue was stunning.

not sure who is actually the one pushing forward. me. or the son.