guess its time. time to begin what i attempted to start a while back. something about pushing forward. i think i came up with that title before my month of september even started. today i was listening to HOW HE LOVES US over and over on the way to work. the line I DONT HAVE TIME TO MAINTAIN THESE REGRETS just resonated within me. it takes to much time & effort to hold onto those things. i am in the process of understanding why i do certain tings. why i think certain ways. i am not satisfied nor am i willing to stay this way. i have allowed myself to... to... to settle for mediocrity for too long. there is more. So much more from the heart of my God for me. the good news is that it is God who is at work in me.
i saw a picture in my head of a very clouded over sky. heavy, deep grey dark clouds covered the land. just oppressive. reminded me of many mornings when i lived in seattle except it wasnt raining. a wind rose up. i could not tell where it was coming from but its evidence was seen & felt. the clouds started to disperse. gradually at first. sometimes in great measure. the wind continued until the cloud cover broke & blue sky could be seen. it was comforting just seening the little patches of blue intermingling with the grey. the wind blew harder. soon, the grey gave way to white. The mood changed from oppresive to comforting. But that was not enough either. Comined with the wind, the suns rays not just broke through the rest of the clouds but burnt them off. The brilliance of the blue was stunning.
not sure who is actually the one pushing forward. me. or the son.